VaniLLa Love :)

Loving an Undespicable Guy

2009-06-01T01:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, after watching episode 19 of Special A, the anime I've just done watching, I can't totally get off Yahiro Saiga's character that attracts me so much.

I hate him so much at his first appearance but I accepted the fact that he looks like Takishima Kei, the main lead, in some aspects. I didn't expect to like him. But what can I do? His soft side is just so adorable that I keep controlling myself on turning into a chibi and shout; "KYAAAAAAA!"

Haha. So baka (stupid) ne?

What attracts me the most is how he manages to say rude things that hides his softness. I love his earrings too! Well, he may be the second anime guy I like so much and didn't mind if he has his partner or what.

Since I am so crazy over him, I changed the icon of my blog to him with his different facial expressions.

Gee. Just loving it so much~

NEW HAIRDO!

2009-05-24T02:20:00.000-07:00

I got a new haircut! Yipee~ >//< style="font-weight: bold;">EXCEPT my Dad. It's not the style I wanted but I ended up loving it! Well, it was supposed to be a Korean cut for girls, the straight bangs and long hair at the back part. While looking the way she cuts it on the mirror my eyebrows kept on meeting, asking myself; Is she doing it right? Haha. XD

Funny but as minutes passed by, I'm starting to like it. :D

FS Layout

2009-04-07T06:26:00.000-07:00

While busy searching for the right words in my mind for a new blog update, I heard my favorite song playing. "Who's playing that?" was the first question asked. Curious about the current situation, I suddenly realized that I set it as my hp's ringing tone. I immediately pulled it out of my pocket and checked out who's calling, it was my cousin named Louie.

I used to call him Kuya Louie since he's older to me by blood. Kuya means big brother. :D We're a bit close since we're in the same age and he's a people person while I'm not... I mean... before. Haha, I'm having a big social circle now so I think I'm not the old me who can just sit in the corner and watch everybody without even opening my mouth.

He asked me to open his friendster account for him and checked his girls who among them is the prettiest. Someone who's name is in korean characters got my vote but he told me he's not sure whether there is still "them" or not since communication is the main problem.

I joked him on changing his layout with butterflies or flowers or any pink layouts on the net. Haha, I wished I saw his face that time! He panicked! LOL. XDD I'm such a meanie! =P

Anyway, the call ended since he lacks two pesos load to call me again. He asked me to share him a load but since I'm out of budget and I don't have such thing, I can't. So all I can do is do his layout.

The next day, I received a comment from him saying that I am his idol and that the layout is pretty cool. Like me, he doesn't prefer crossovers too because it takes a lot of time to load.

Here's the layout. :D

He actually asked for a background featuring himself. :)
Yep! That's him! :D

A forum for my dear CLASSMATES!

2009-04-07T05:21:00.000-07:00

Hey! =]

It was my habit alright but I really enjoy making forums though they we're all inactive. LOL. XDD
It has great features such as chatbox, polls, gallery and of course, all topics were arrange and everybody can post under it. It would be a good one but what I am afraid off is that they won't even pay attention on my hardwork. =[

Gee~ that's a bit SAD. =((

Because first of all, all of my classmates were LAZY and that would be the BIG problem especially that the forum needs an active e-mail address since joining would have a confirmation.

Of course, the ever-active-IT-student in our section, Jeffrey is already a member and replied on the other topics I posted when I made the forum. *Sigh* who else would appreciate it? =((

I am planning to post our assignment there and projects for the coming semester so that they could check it online. I'm such a good girl, am I? Haha. But I'm hoping to have some help from them. =[

So, here's the preview:
I didn't elaborate for the banner's creativeness since they won't even pay attention on it. :D

Of course I wouldn't forget to tell you the link. :)
http://bsit1b-0809.forumotion.net/forum.htm
CHECK it out if you want to. :D

LIESL, a total adviser!

2009-04-07T05:10:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday I checked on her site since the last time I visit was when I asked for an advice about my *blushes* crushie. LOL. XDD

Haha, well, wanna know her advise?

"Wow, that was long so I cut it off a bit here. But it’s ok, the additional information was indeed necessary. Well, from what I’ve read, he tends to find ways to see you and basically he likes being around you. That could mean that either he wants to hang out more as a friend, or he has a crush on you, but it is most likely the second one. I think you should help him out a bit, and try to get closer to him as well. Maybe that way he’ll feel more comfortable in telling you straight up. That is only assuming that you like him back (you didn’t say in your submission). If you don’t, then you should give it some time so that he makes a move, and then you can explain to him that you don’t see him that way and that you’d rather just be friends. Let me know what happens. :)"

Gee~ that's a bit embarrassing! Haha. Well, that's what she said. Actually, I really appreciate it a lot since I've asked for another person's opinion. It wasn't like her when she tells that a guy really has a crush on the girl. To think that I am the first one from all the girls who asked for an advise to be agreed that my suspicion was right. I guess I am just a keen observer, am I? :D

I'm glad that I am right. :)

Asking for what my submission is? Haha, it's a S-E-C-R-E-T. It was posted on her site though. :D

KISSES; =x

2009-04-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Haha, what I've been up to this past few days? YEP! I'm absolutely busy...
KISSING. LOL. XDD Yeah but it's not the usual kissing you're thinking. =]
Haha, why? Because I've been taking care of the-so-called-kisses! Are you familiar with it anyway? Sure you do! =]

I got it from our store actually I'm the first one who bought it! =] They we're just that tiny when I paid for them but look at them now.

TOP VIEW =]

ah-huh, they've grown this much! x)

Well, I dunno why but my first attempt on growing them was a FAILURE. =[ Because as days passed, they're getting tinier! But that didn't matter, I bought another set! And that's the pic. =]

More kisses, more <333.>

and so the story goes. :)

2009-03-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

In the middle of the fun, I got this habit, acting as a photographer just for a simple reason, fro no one to notice that I should take stolen shots of Khimmy and Lazry so that she can make her boyfie jealous. Anyway, I enjoy doing it. :D

I took this picture when we we're grilling our one and only viand. :P

This pic was to prove that they really look good together. :P

This was supposed to be fafa xon's solo pic but jowell insisted to let him in, so there it goes.

I do think that I got a good shot with this one. :D That's dagz. :D

I like this pic too, haha. Maybe because he's doing peaces? LOL. XD

Stolen. :D

That's the end of my photography session. :)

nope, that's not an alien. X)

I still remember when Allen and Jowell had a little misunderstanding. Whoah! It really frightened us, girls, when Erickson pushed Allen as if he's just pushing a little kid.

Allen & Jowell. Close huh? :)

This was the time when Lazry kept giving me logic tests.

Of course, trio wouldn't missed to got our picture taken. So...
CLICK!

SEXY.

after 17 days, my life has CHANGED. :D

2009-03-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

AH-HUH. My life is still going on though my blog is half dead. =)) A lot of things happened and I'm glad I passed the stage of brokenness. LOL. X) Lately, I realized that he even doesn't worth my time, not a single second. I don't know why I'm starting to hate him but no matter what, I would always put in mind that I really regret those days.

And right now, I'm enjoying my life as a single especially with my classmates who I refer to as fafa. :P And the ultimate fafa of them all is non other than, *drum roll* Erickson. Naze? (Why?) He got himself those broad shoulders, nice muscles on both arms and legs and his chest we're well-built.

sexy huh?

OOPS. I forgot, we changed our location from Paradiso to Circle Island but I think no matter where we would be that time, we would still have fun. With those boys' attitude, I'm sure all of us would have a great time. :D

At first, I wasn't sure if I would come or not since my mom won't even agree of me coming plus I would trouble her for money. Haha, but since luck was on my side, there I went, laughing and enjoying the so-called "farewell party." Putting that thing aside, I had this classmate of mine whom we really hate because we thought his mind and body were nothing but air. Woops, but that day, we got our eye check-up. LOL. X) He's completely different, he was the one who we're busy inviting our classmates to come. A bunch of thanks, Franzis. :) Good thing was, they we're all generous that day especially Jowell who gave more than the said amount {thanks Jowell! :D} eventhough he's kinda short. :D

I really like this pic, that's Khimmy & Jowell. :)

This is Franzis. :D

Joyce was the one who brought rice while Khimmy was assigned to prepare for the viand and I was the one who brought the drinks. I can't even tell whether the food we're enough or not for everybody but I know they enjoy it, eating in a styrofore using your bare hands. Thinking about it, how I wish that day didn't have to end. :(

Our food. :)

Late that night, a little argument happened. To admit, I got pissed but I let it pass. It was just because she already bothered a lot of people but then all she did was to chitchat. I know she said that she would wait for our ex-classmate, Ehm but didn't she have to tell it before the two of them got themselves dressed? This person's identity is hidden. LOL. X) This problem was somewhat related to the next pic. :P

*zips my mouth x_x*

Since I mentioned a bit about Franzis and absolutely about my so-called-sister, Khimmy, I frequently take stolen shots for the two of them and some were an accidentally group pic just for the sake of a little souvenier. :))

She thought I was only taking her picture so she posed a peace. :P

Good thing that one of our ex-classmate, Ehm, came to join the fun that she brought lechon manok for everyone. Oishi~ (Delicious~)

Khimmy, EHM, Jowell :D

That night, my classmate and our group's leading man on our MV, Lazry, gave me a lot of logic test and I totally ENJOY it! Haha, because I<333MINDGAMES!

My mind won't change, I really think this is a sweet picture. :)

SLEEPY, will update more tomorrow. :D

leage excitement! (:

2009-03-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know if they will be joining or not but I am really excited for the upcoming event. Why? Because I'll be witnessing another league where in I know almost all of the players and I can cheer whenever I would like to since it would just be held in our subdivision.

I am expecting a lot of people to be in the same crowded court like before. I hope Aiden would be dropping by to watch it since all of his close friends were living here and of course, I do hope for Ken to join because the last time it was held, he was totally busy with his work, dancing.

And of course, I wanna see my brother play too. He had been improving a lot and I hope that they would at least win just one game. Haha but we all know that our phase had the most bishounen overall. ;p

I will be seeing them again!

Yatta! Banzai!

excited for later. (:

2009-03-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

We will be watching our five minutes-eight seconds video later in our first subject, art appreciation. We worked really hard for it so we know that all of our hardwork will pay off. We posted it in youtube and we we're getting nice feedbacks about it.

We we're supposed to used Frankie J's Don't Wanna Try but it was too short so we changed it to Takipsilim by Callalily and it suits our concept well!

We got three days for filming and five hours for editing it. Among other groups, we're the only one who took it seriously, we've been filming on three different locations that made a hole in my wallet, haha. :P

If you're interested on watching it, go and check it out in this link. Just copy and paste it. :))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGIJ_BYUjYA

Staffs and Casts:
Director && Editor: Khimmy
Scene Writer: Vanilla^^
Cameraman: Jon
Leading Man: Lazry
Leading Lady: Joyce
Friends: LJ && Allen
Doctor: Jeff
Nurses: Vic && Paula

It's not a waste of time watching it. Two thumbs up for our group!
As a matter of fact, we will be having fun on Paradiso this coming Wednesday and I'm pretty excited about it. Because of that project, we just had a great time together and have that so-called-thing "bonding."

absolute boyfriend! :))

2009-03-08T10:06:00.001-07:00

Just watched something really interesting today. It's a Japanese J-Drama, a live action to be specific that was entitled: Zettai Kareshi or Absolute Boyfriend. The main lead, Hayami Mokomichi from Gokusen 2, used to be my favorite character in the said show. :)) He's a half-blooded Pinoy just like me! Nice, isn't it? It was a pretty good show to pay on.

The story goes this way:

Riiko Izawa has never had a boyfriend and she has been rejected by every boy she has ever had a crush on. When she returns a lost cell phone to an oddly dressed salesman, she mentions wanting a boyfriend so to thank her, he directs her to his company's website. When she visits the site, Riiko finds it's a site to create your own lover. Thinking its a game, she customizes and accidentally orders one. The next day, her new lover arrives. Following the instruction manual, she kisses him to wake him up and configure him to be in love with only her. She names him "Night." Three days later, she is shocked to learn that she only had him for a free trial. The salesman, Gaku Namikiri, tells her that she must now pay 100,000,000 yen for Night, however, they will waive the fee if she helps them to collect data about how women think and feel to help perfect future models.

Riiko must now keep Night's true nature of not being human a secret from everyone around her. She also soon finds herself in a love triangle between Night and her childhood friend Soshi, who declares his love for her out of fear he will lose her. As the series progresses, Night begins to develop real human emotions, enabling him to truly love Riiko but also resulting in system malfunctions. When Riiko almost loses Night due to the malfunctions, she realizes that he is the one she really loves. She apologizes to Soshi, who moves to Spain with his brother. As the series ends, Night begins to grow sleepier and sleepier. The problems developed by his exceeding his abilities eventually causes his machinery to stop working, resulting in his "death". Before he died, he wrote a letter directed to Soshi telling him what was happening and asking him to take care of Riiko. Gaku Namikiri then sent the letter to Soshi after giving Riiko some time to grieve, which brings Soshi back to Japan to be at her side again.

And this is Hayami Mokomichi. :)

I was SO much into it but it frustrated me in the end. Why? Simply because the DVD is lying, it was written on the cover: Complete Series but it's not! Hopefully, I can finish watching it soon.

When I visited the site where it was subbed, it was stated there that there would be Zettai Kareshi Special, gee! I was so happy about it! Hope I can watch it soon too! :D

it matched up well . (:

2009-03-08T09:54:00.000-07:00

"Today, the truth is too obvious to hide. Your little secret is a secret no longer!"
-- my horoscope today.

It completely matched what happened tonight. Khimmy read my blog last night and knew what I really felt that time. She asked me why I didn't tell her about it and it's just because I can't and I want to keep my word.

She asked for an apology in behalf of her friend. I don't know why but I didn't feel any hatred for him. Maybe it was just because I am also at fault. She asked me if I'm already fine and I know I am. Cheers for me, I guess?

It's my ex-best friend's birthhday today and I greeted her at friendster. :)) Just sharing. :P

forget and let go

2009-03-07T04:44:00.000-08:00

Totally unsure.

That was how I felt when we had been exchanging messages. Though he won't say it, I know it because I can definitely feel it. Everything changed and that's the way it goes.

I wasn't supposed to be in his birthday celebration because I didn't feel like going. My friend agreed with my decision, she was thinking the night before the same thing and I guessed that went right. Two days after, that was March four, there is this free concert of the western band Red Jumpsuit Apparatus ATC. My friend asked for my companion but our group have our dance practice so I decided not to come.

That day, I definitely confirmed it and I decided to let it go. If I’ll be holding on, I’ll get tired and in the end, I know I’ll be hurting myself badly. From the very first place, I am ready for it, I know what I own and I know what things are temporarily mine. What I wasn’t prepared for is my heart to enjoy everything. To show that much affection was a mistake.

The next day, the situation is avoidable but I guessed it was fate that brought me there. When we got there, it was the usual thing, we didn’t have a conversation and either I or he didn’t attempt to start one. I don’t know if he wanted me to be there or not but how I feel? I think it’s the latter. I prepared myself of the things I might be seeing that night because I told my friend that it wouldn’t hurt because what happened between us is nothing serious, and I want to keep my word.

I used to be quiet and that was how I was that time. The common question I am used of was asked to me a lot of times; “are you okay?” and my answer won’t change; it was a ‘yeah’ with a smile. I don’t know if it was convincing or not but I am happy with the attention they gave me; I was like a child mingling with adults. I wanted to be treated that way so I am pleased.

His girl asked for a companion to go to the comfort room to pee so me and my friend decided to do her a favor. But we found out someone’s using it and she said she can’t hold it anymore so we went out to check for the availability of the other bathroom but someone asked for my pen so I was left behind.

That was the time I sat down on the not-so-long chair outside with just me and another girl. After a few seconds, there was this gay who sat beside me who keeps on saying I look kind. Since he’s not feeling well, I kept on asking him if he was alright. And then he arrived and sat right next to that gay. After a few minutes, he was already beside me. We we’re both quiet.
That moment, I was unsure of what I really feel whether I want him next to me or I don’t want him next to me. Those two choices we’re still unanswerable for me. But I ended up avoiding him which I think is a good decision.
When the party was about to end, he was totally drank that he fell asleep on the chair he’s on. That time I wanted to sit next to him and asked him if he was okay but I was afraid that I am not suited for the roll. When he wanted to vomit, I wanted to be there and help him out but the same reason run in my mind so I stopped myself not to do it. When he stood up and looks so much drank, I wanted to held on his shirt and let him sat down.
There were a lot of things I wanted to do but I can’t and I shouldn’t.

I wanted to go away when those things we’re happening so that I would stop any desire to help him but I know if I run away, I would just end up worrying more. I wanted to witness how she would take care of him.

And that night, I had my final decision and that was to forget and let go.

Song for me? :|

2009-02-24T07:59:00.000-08:00

This was the song he sang to me the first time we met after he confessed to me. I asked him to sing for me and I don't know why he chose this song. (x.x) But I'll admit, I got kilig when he's looking at me while singing the whole song though he's actually shouting just to reach those high tones. LOL. X)

Kahit Pa
- Hale

Muling lalapit
ang liwanag sa paligid
at ang tinig
na sa akin nagsasabing

Hindi mapipigil ng mundo
papatunayan ang pangako

Dahil kailangan ka
kailangang pakita natin tayo'y iba
at kahit pa
hindi papapigil sa mundo
at sa umagang darating
lahat ay aking kakayanin
at kahit ikaw lang at ako

Huwag mong isipin
ang mga harang sa atin
at ang ihip ng hangin ay darating

Bigla lang ang titigil ang mundo
at ang lahat ay maglalaho

Dahil kailangan ka
kailangang pakita natin tayo'y iba
at kahit pa
hindi papapigil sa mundo
at sa umagang darating
lahat ay aking kakayanin
at kahit ikaw lang at ako

Hindi ko man hawak ang panahon
maging ang ikot ng buhay
basta't ikaw at ikaw pa rin
ikaw at ikaw parin

Dahil kailangan ka
kailangang pakita natin tayo'y iba
at kahit pa
hindi papapigil sa mundo
at sa umagang darating
lahat ay aking kakayanin
at kahit ikaw lang at ako

At kahit pa ikaw lang at..
at kahit pa ikaw lang at..
at kahit pa ikaw lang at ako..


[[ JUST SHARING^^ ]]

Getting Jealous :D

2009-02-24T07:11:00.000-08:00

Last night, I had a conversation with Maki on the phone. Haha, I got even with him that night. He always got this attitude of please-me-pity-me while I'm the type of person who isn't worth the attention of pleasing you 'cause I won't. I don't want to show any affection at all. And that night, I changed the mood. I became the girl with please-me-pity-me attitude and I can say I succeeded. X) haha.

He became like "hey kheem, what's up with you?", "can't you see? It's not like that", "hey, what's wrong?", "what happened?". Haha, I want to roll laughing about it. I know he panicked. LOL. X))

At least, the conversation ended up well. (:

WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?

I waited all day for his SMS but he messaged me late this afternoon and it's actually blank. It was the usual him anyway. :P He asked me to call him but I was just on my way home so I told him so.

When I got home, after exchanging a few text messages with each other, he asked me the same favor; call him. I can't really get used to the fact that I'm suppose to be the one calling but I took the choice rather him calling at home. I know people at home would suspect. LOL.

Then he asked me about my friend's invitation on strolling to the mall, to my favorite mall, that I told him to my text message when we ended the call last night. He didn't ask for details so I thought it's okay. When I told him the guy's name... I don't know why but now I can feel the feeling of someone getting jealous. It's a nice feeling. (: Especially when he's pushing me to text the guy while I'll tell him it's nothing serious but he would still say the same line over and over again. X)

Another thing about what happened today is that I can't decide what wallpaper to place on my sibling's handy phone since I'm using it right now. And then I decided to took a picture of the white pig key chain I bought on Robinson Imus, where I bought the other, a black pig key chain, which I gave to him as a thank you gift for treating us that day.

Here's the pic of my key chain:

HP's wallie .. :D

Screen Saver .. ^^

Anyway, I had a long talk with my best bud's boyfriend, Derick.
Hehe, he's such a nice fellow. :D

Just woke up and took a pic of myself. Haha. :P

Just when I thought it was HIM all along

2009-02-23T00:31:00.000-08:00

Believing someone so easily, I was a fool. If only I didn't let my heart feel pity for such a guy, maybe I wasn't suffering right now.

There are a lot of things I shouldn't have done.

I regret the day I let him enter my peaceful life which is now completely a mess. When he asked for time, why didn't I just let him have it for the first place? Maybe if I did, I am living in a better phase now.

I regret the day I told my friends about him. For I know when time comes, I would always be a failure.

"Nobody can understand and know the real me."
It was all a DREAM, a dream I thought I would have forever.

Just when I thought he would know me, na-uh. It wasn't.

I should just forget it and let it go.
I know it is the easiest way to let my life be back to its normal circulation where I don't need to be sweet, I don't need to be understanding. Where I can be me.

The happiness I felt is nothing compare to the loneliness it cause.

The present I need to bury now,
and now it's just the PAST I should carry along.

I am completely tired of being someone that wasn't me.

I want to stop the pretension.

I want to be ME.

Do I need to change myself for that simple thing? I really don't open up my feelings that easily unless to someone I know I can trust.

I don't want to tell him how much I value him because I am afraid to get hurt.
I am afraid of the fact that he's not serious about it but nobody knows that. At a time like this, I can turn to no one but myself.

I know I am completely broken and yet nobody's here for me.

All I can do is to smile and help others out.

That's the way I used to live now.

a very fun saturday afternoon :)

2009-02-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

I got up late as usual and missed my Saturday class which pissed me off. I was walking on the school corridor just to see my classmates passing by and we're ready to have fun. I didn't expect that just by talking about my aunt's problem of his son would take a lot of time. I didn't regret that one anyway, at least I helped her. (: right?

I received a text message from Khimmy, telling me to go to her house. Since I am uncomfortable with my pants, I borrowed a few clothes. A pink stripe blouse and a tokong. I even borrowed a necklace and it's love love love. <33 style="font-style: italic;">Comic Alley.

Cutting the story short, Jordan had his new watch. (:
Derick's basketball game was postponed and would be reschedule so he tag along with us.
Mike and Jemai came late and then later on they went solo. ah-huh. Maybe they've gone to a date.
Khimmy was really happy with Derick around. She's really missing him badly these days. :)
While the three of them, Derick, Khimmy and Jordan treat me for lunch. Yipee~

the lunch we've eaten. :)

Derick :)

Jordan :)

Khimmy :)